Dangerous Chip Confession

My first blog post is about tortilla chips:

            You may wonder, “Why?”

            You may say, aloud, “Well, that’s random!”

            The truth is, I started the day with a bag full of golden, crunchy chips and now they are missing, really, I mean eaten, but let’s just stick with missing. 

            I have often claimed aloud that tortilla chips, whether shaped like little wrinkled bowls, squiggly circles or wedges are one of the most addicting foods in the world.  Salsa or no salsa, it, personally, takes a great amount of restraint to keep my hand from diving, over and over again, into the bag, grabbing more chips and chanting, “Yummmmm…Last one, I swear… Yummmmm”.

            I see the shriveled bag, now lying on the floor, and I try to convince myself, “Ok, so, you ate a bag of chips… they are tortilla chips… they are made from corn… corn, vegetable, healthy, good for you!”  As I continue to stare, however, I catch my image reflected in the crinkled, silver insides of the bag, further distorted by a light film of grease.  I remember one chip, already broken in half, whose jagged edge pierced my gums while I sat snacking earlier in the day.  I remember the tiny kernel I tossed in the air, aiming to coolly catch it in my mouth, but missed and subsequently stepped on it, driving the crumbs into the fibers of the rug.  This forced me to go and get the mini-vac, only to discover the mini-vac was full and had to be emptied, only to discover the trash was full and had to be emptied, only to realize I had to take out the trash. 

            Still, I snack.  Still, I volunteer to bring the chips and dip to parties.  Still, I am powerless before this corny culprit.  I don’t think I will ever know why I am so addicted to tortilla chips, and, perhaps, I will live my whole life writing it off as “one of those things”, one of those love/hate relationships you can’t quite let go.  Now that the bag is gone, I could simply avoid buying another one, but the words “tortilla chips” have already been added to the shopping list because I didn’t finish the jar of salsa, and it seems almost wrong to leave something half done, right?